Before our son was born, we were given the book Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff. The book explores why it is that children in ‘other’ places — i.e., not in much of the highly-educated Western world — seem to have so many more skills, and are so much more pleasant to be around, than the kids who seemingly have it all. It was one of only a small handful of parenting books we started that we even considered finishing, and one of even fewer we’ve kept on our shelf. One anecdote, in particular, resides permanently in my head.
A young girl struggles to make tortillas, watching a family member turn out perfect ones alongside her. Instead of discouraging her by taking over, a well-worn habit of impatient parents, she’s encouraged to keep trying. Eventually, she’ll get there.
Ben and I met at a summer camp, Camp Treetops, when we were young children. The camp was founded over 100 years ago on precisely this principle. Children should, they believe, learn through trying and failing and later, upon finding success, teaching others. My mom started working at the camp after I’d attended for a few summers, and still goes back for a week or two to help out at stressful periods in the seven-week sleepaway session. This year, she consoled a mom who was crying as Parent’s Visiting Day came to a close. She was sad to leave her kid, of course, but that wasn’t actually the core issue.
“She couldn’t believe she’d expected so little of her child,” my mom said, retelling the moment. For a full day she’d seen her 8-year-old, make her bed and get herself ready for swim class. She did chores and navigated social situations, all without the guidance or helping hand her mom had thought was necessary. She had it under control, and she just needed to be supported along the way.
This week, Crowe, our son, turns 3. He helps with animal chores in the morning, spreading scratch and opening the chicken coop door. He sets the table, finding his silverware in the drawer, and stamps bags in our store. Sometimes the scratch is dumped in an unceremonious heap, sometimes the door sticks and then abandoned in frustration, sometimes the table gets left half set in favor of a toy, and most of the time the stamps look wonky — but that’s ok. It’s learning.
Recently, Crowe has taken an interest in cooking. He likes measuring ingredients, and only sometimes dumps them on the counter instead of into the bowl. After a cartoon episode centered on making cheesecake, he pulled on my belt loop and asked, “Can we make cheesecake?” I quickly appraised the situation, tallying up what ingredients we would need that weren’t on-hand for a perfect, fluffy, water bath-baked, cookbook-worthy cheesecake. Then I symbolically knocked myself upside the head and got back to the point. He wanted to make a cheesecake. This wasn’t about me.
All we’d need for a basic cheesecake were graham crackers, so we went on a ‘ninja mission’ (his branding) to the gas station to grab a box. Upon arriving home, he leapt into action. He smashed the graham crackers into crumbs with a rolling pin, mixed the crust, and pressed it into a cake tin. He oversaw the operation of the stand mixer, increasing and decreasing speed as called upon, and excitedly added the vanilla. He patiently waited for a slice of his confection until after dinner, digging in before declaring it deliciously his.
This recipe was made up on the fly by mashing together a few internet searches and relying on everyday fridge items in quantities you may already have around. It results in a kid-friendly process and delicious result that goes well with berries or on its own.
Crowe’s Cheesecake
Serves 1-8, depending on who is eating.
Crust
- 5 tbsp butter, melted
- 1 tbsp brown sugar
- 1 cup graham cracker crumbs (preferably smashed with a rolling pin because it’s fun)
Filling
- 8oz cream cheese at room temperature
- ¼ cup sugar
- 1/3 cup sour cream
- 1 tsp vanilla
- Pinch salt
- 1 egg at room temperature
Optional: zest of a half of a lemon (toss berries in the juice with some chopped mint if you don’t want to waste it after zesting)
Instructions
Preheat oven to 325F.
Combine all crust ingredients in a bowl until well combined then press using your fingers into the bottom of a 9” round cake pan. You can line the bottom of the pan with parchment if you are nervous, but it isn’t necessary. Don’t worry too much about going up the sides, and don’t get too fussy. Place in freezer.
Put cream cheese in the bowl of a stand mixer with the ‘beater’ attachment and set to medium speed. Add sugar. Add sour cream. Add vanilla. Add salt. Add egg. Add lemon zest if you want it. All this can be done just as well with a hand mixer, or a whisk if you have strong arms. Beat until totally combined and smooth.
Remove pan with crust from freezer and pat down if needed to cover any gaps. Pour filling on top and spread with a spatula. Note: The filling will spread to be about ½ inch thick.
Bake on the center rack for 30-40 min. It may be lightly browning on the edges, but the most important sign that it is done is that the top is set but still has a little jiggle.
Rest on the stove with oven off for 1 hour (this ensures it cools down slowly) to reduce the risk of cracking. Refrigerate until serving.
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Note: Upon watching me edit images for this post, Crowe requested that it be made clear, in no uncertain terms, that he does not endorse the addition of blueberries when serving.
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